The Temple. My Savior. Healing.

Happy Anniversary to me!  Today marks 2 years since I went to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple and received my endowment.  It is the best decision I have ever made.  Recently I have reflected about the event leading up to me deciding to receive my endowment.  I am not really sure why...But I have been prompted to write down my experience.  So here it goes.  In November 2011 my stake president told us that there is not an age requirement to receive your endowment.  He encouraged us to meet with the bishop if we felt ready.  I started to think it over and a few weeks later talked to my bishop about possibly receiving my endowments.   A year or so before, I was in a dating relationship that was emotionally abusive.  I continued to feel pain/hurt/anger at times from my "emotional battle wounds" but I guess I kind of thought they were now just apart of who I was.  As terrible as that experience was, I learned about me.  I learned to speak up for myself and to voice my opinions.  I learned to set boundaries.  I learned to trust myself and to follow promptings to get out of unhealthy relationships/circumstances.  So...I thought I had moved on and sufficiently learned from that experience/relationship.  But, oh how I was wrong.  The moment I decided to receive my endowment, the adversary hit me hard.  Everything from that relationship started coming to the forefront of my mind.  I felt that I was reliving the experience.  I started having daily anxiety/panic attacks that I was not good enough and I would never be good enough.   I have suffered from anxiety in the past but I never experienced anything like this before.  My whole body was at war (heart thumping, inability to sleep, tingling, mind in a fog, difficulty swallowing...).  I received counsel from my bishop but things continued to get worse.  This went on daily for a month.  I thought I was losing my mind.  One night a week before I was supposed to go to the temple, I called my parents bawling.  I told them I didn't think I could go through with it because of my anxiety and "I must not be good enough."  My dad gave me some very wise counsel.  I was reminded of the story of Joseph Smith and the First Vision when he was surrounded by darkness before Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ appeared to him.  I reminded myself that I was good and that I was worthy. The adversary does not want us to enter the temple because he knows just how powerful we will become if we do so.   And so... on February 9, 2012 I received my endowments.  My whole family and a few close friends were present.  It was an experience I will never forget.  After receiving my endowments, my anxiety/panic attacks did not go away.  I was counseled to go to the temple on a regular basis.  So I did.  I went frequently.  And...The temple changed my life.  In the past two years I have gained a strong testimony of who I am and what I am worth, what my purpose is, and why I am here.  I have felt God's love for me and I have a stronger more real relationship with my Savior Jesus Christ.  I have a testimony of the healing power of the atonement.  I love my Savior.  He healed my wounds.  He gave me strength.  He gave me comfort and peace. He is my brother. He is my friend.  I will forever be indebted to him.