This I Know.

Wow. It sure has been awhile since my last post.  I passed my defense a month ago and graduation is just weeks away.  It is bitter sweet feeling.  I have been reflecting a lot on the past three years as this chapter in my life is now closing.  Why was I supposed to go to graduate school? What have I learned? How have the experiences and trials I have faced over the last 3 years refined me?  I don't know all the answers.  But here are a few things that I do know.

1. I am a daughter of Heavenly Father and he has a plan for me.  He knows me better than I know myself and he loves me unconditionally.  I have seen my Heavenly Father's hand in my life more in the last three years than any other time in my life.  Three years ago, I was almost engaged to a young man and the plan was to head back East so that I could go to pharmacy school.  Oh. How that plan quickly changed.  And there is only one explanation for that.  My Heavenly Father loves me and knew that I was headed down a road that was not the best thing for me.  After the relationship ended.  I realized and knew that without a doubt I was supposed to go to graduate school at Utah State University.  I discussed this change in plans with Nedra, my dietetic professor.  She accepted me as a graduate student....and everything just fell into place.  Graduate school has not been "smooth-sailing" but I am constantly being blessed by the tender mercies of the Lord.    Although there was nothing easy about changing my life's course, I now realize that the pain/difficulties I went through were needed to allow me to learn and grow.  I am living proof that His love is real.  
2. Heavenly Father hears my prayers.  He knows what I need and many times answers my prayers through the hands of others.  I'm not going to lie...The last two years have been the hardest years of my life.  The responsibilities and load placed on my shoulders was more than I could have handled on my own. There have been several periods of time when I feel like I live my life in constant prayer.  But... the amazing thing is, I not only accomplished my tasks but I excelled!  The quality of my work was incredible.  I am not saying this to boast of myself, because I know that it was not me.  I know that my skills were enhanced and I was given strength beyond my own from my Heavenly Father.  Whenever I had a rough day I would always tell myself...Heavenly Father would not tell you to do something if he knew you would fail at it.  If I did my best, he would make up the rest...and he did! I would have never finished grad school without him...and I will never deny his hand in my life. I would also like to thank my family, dietetics family, my besties, and my roommate Alison.  Each of you were tools in the Lord's hands and have helped me in ways you probably don't even realize.  Thank you for following through on those promptings you received.  Thank you for being apart of my life.  I truly have BEST family and friends! 
3. The power of the priesthood is real.  I am so grateful for my father and brother for being such great examples of honorable priesthood holders.  I know that I can turn to them at anytime or hour for a blessing and they would be worthy to do so.  I have received SO many blessings over the last 2 years. I know that the counsel, warnings, and promises contained in those blessings come from the Lord...and I hold them dear to my heart.  I am also grateful for the counsel and direction I have received from my church leaders and parents.  They have truly given me inspired counsel and direction that has been of great help to me.  I know that it is only through the power of the priesthood that I can return to live with my family and my Heavenly Father. 
4. It's all about your attitude.  A couple of weeks ago my dear friend and major professor passed away.  I have learned so much from her.  She viewed life with an eternal perspective.  She had cancer for 10 years and valiantly fought it without missing a day of work.  She faced life with humor and a positive attitude.  I never heard her complain about her yucky treatments. She put herself second and placed her focus on students and charities.  She gave of her time, wisdom,and money.  She knew that this life was not our beginning or end.  She knew that we are to be happy  and enjoy our time on this earth no matter what our circumstances may be.  I miss you Nedra K. Christensen.  I have had to resist the urges to call you...you always seemed to have the answer to everything.  But...thank you for everything you have taught me.  Thank you for not only being the best major professor, but also a great friend.  Thank you for seeing my potential and trusting me enough to achieve it! You will always have a special place in my heart!  There is always something to smile about.  And. Let's face it...being grumpy and unhappy is not attractive or  fun. Bad attitudes do not make your circumstance better. Attitude is everything. So...Come what may and love it!
5. I think my perfectionism has made it a little more difficult to fully understand and take full advantage of the atonement in my life.  I have a testimony of the atonement and I have seen it change the lives of those around me.  But...I am now coming to realize the Savior sacrificed for me personally.  Not just for everyone else.  I have felt this change in my heart.  It is changing my life.  It has changed my thoughts, behaviors, and has given me strength beyond my own.  I hope to continue to strengthen my relationship and testimony of my Savior.  It is not just having a belief in Christ, but it is about believing Christ.  I am so grateful that my Savior loved me enough to sacrifice for me.   I am grateful that he has been where I have been.  He knows my heartaches and pains...and because of this he knows how to succor me.  It is comforting to know that he shares my joys and weeps when I weep.  I am eternally indebted to him and will always strive to follow him. 

Despite the difficulties/trials, it has been a great 2 years! I am so grateful for my family, friends, and committee members for their love, support, strength, encouragement, and sometimes even a shoulder to cry on. I am not really sure what the next chapter in my life is going to involve quite yet.  But...I know that Heavenly Father will never let me down.  If I trust him enough to follow His plan for me  I will always be in good hands.