Grandpa...The drug dealer.

After working as pharmacy technician for 5 years I know a whole heck of a lot more than I ever wanted to know about drugs, drug abusers, forged prescriptions, and Federal/State laws.  Having customers coming into the pharmacy and raising havoc because "they ran out of their narcotics 15 days early" or "the pharmacy employees must have shorted me 10 pills" was at least an hourly occurrence.  Most the time the reason for their shortages are: 1) Not taking the meds are prescribed...AKA they are addicted, 2) they are sharing the drugs with family/friends, 3) Family members, co-workers, or friends have stolen their medication, or 4) they selling it on the street. Now for story time...

My dad and brother decided to go hike the narrows one weekend with some friends.  On the way back they were going to stop at my grandparents cabin in Marysvale (a small four-wheeling community in Southern Utah). On their way to Marysvale my mom happened to call my brother. The conversation went something like this:

Mom: Where are you guys?

Kelton: Well I just woke up but we are pulled over on the side of the road and dad is lying in the fetal position on the side of the road. 

Mom: What? What is happening?

Kelton: I don't know. But he looks really, really bad. It's not good.

Mom: Go help him! Take him to the hospital!

After this phone call my brother and dad both lost cell phone coverage.  Poor mom was pacing the house waiting to hear back from them. We finally got word that they had made it to the cabin but my dad was still in massive pain. By this time, my dad from previous personal experience knew that he was passing a kidney stone. My mom tried calling my uncle who is a dentist to have him call in pain medication to a pharmacy in a nearby town.  But as we all know small towns shut down early...and all the pharmacies were closed. My grandparents cabin is a good 45 minutes to the nearest hospital. My dad being the stubborn man that he is refused to go to the hospital. My mom explained to my brother that he was to get my dad into the car and drive him to the hospital whether he wanted to or not. Meanwhile...I drove a few miles down the road to my grandparents house in Riverton to visit. I explained the situation to my grandparents, aunt, and uncle. We were all feeling extremely sorry for my brother who had the LARGE/IMPOSSIBLE task of getting my stubborn dad into the car and to the hospital. We began to gather up narcotic prescriptions from previous surgeries or child births and made plans to start the 3 hour drive to Marysvale to meet up with my brother.  However, my grandpa had another plan and the next thing I know I am hearing this conversation:

"Hey ____ this is Dennis Rich, you know the man that has the cabin down the road from you. Well, I have a son who is at the cabin right now. We think he is passing a kidney stone and he is in a terrible amount of pain. Do you happen to have any narcotics or pain medications?....I would even pay you for them." 

I couldn't stop laughing. I mean. WTF...Did I really just hear that? My grandpa is trying to organize a drug deal.  Also. How well does grandpa even know this man? Well. Turns out the man on the other end of the conversation had some oxycontin but declined the offer. To sum the story up...Dad did get into the car...props to Kelton. But...the pain went away on the ride there so they stopped and got hamburgers rather than going to the ER. Dad, however, did spend the next night in the ER. They found two 8 mm stones and one 1 mm stone. Yuck! Dad also had to have surgery 2 days before trip to San Francisco...What a trooper.